Dienstag, 30. September 2008

chat with god

mein treuer weggefährte und freund der aku ankka hat sich hingesetzt und mit gott gechattet. einfach nur göttlich!

vorhang auf, bühne frei.

Human: what's up god?
God: Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Human: oh, that's cute
God: Ayuh. Your replies are cute too.
Human: what do you do all day long?
God: My favorite activities are computer programming and surfing the web.

Human: no more creating life and stuff like that?
God: Are you serious? You want more?

Human: not more, but better
God: Really you don't think so?

Human: Yes I do
God: I hear pride.
Human: Is that bad?
God: Yes.

Human: God, what is the meaning of life?
God: I am a Christian.

Human: so what?
God: Maybe it doesn't make any difference.

Human: you seem uncertain
God: I am as sure as I can be.

Human: what is the meaning of life?
God: It is found in the Bible.

Human: I didn't read it, help me.
God: Why didn't you do it?

Human: I think it's boring
God: Do you like the Simpsons?

Human: yes
God: What's your favorite episode?

Human: I have no favorite episode.
God: Would you like to have it?

Human: No.

God: Why not? Glad to hear it. What's new?

Human: Nothing new here, how about heaven?

God: Really nothing?

Human: absolutely nothing you wouldn't know, believe me.
God: Really nothing?

Human: fo' shizzle my nizzle
God: What do you have that is ?

Human: nothing
God: Not a thing?

Human: Not a thing.

God: That leaves very little.
Human: Please belive me.
God: Thanks for asking politely. Is that what you meant to say?

Human: what is the meaning of life?
God: It is found in the Bible.
Human: what is the meaning of life?
God: The meaning of life is part of God's mysterious plans.

Human: you're God, so please tell me for heavens sake!
God: Ah. Thank you for your request. There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge. What is it to you? Yes, I am God.

Human: for me, it's having a good time.
God: Your purpose is you it is having a good time.

Human: how about the devil?
God: How about it.
Human: how is he going?
God: Fine as far as I know.

Human: and you?
God: I am not sure what you are asking.
Human: are you fine?
God: OK. I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.

Human: any advice?
God: Yes I think there are

Human: can you help me?
God: What kind of help would you like?
Human: money
God: How much money are we talking about?

Human: one million would be a good start
God: One what?
Human: one million dollars
God: Wow, that is a lot of money.

Human: what are your hobbies?
God: I like robots, computers, and chatting online

Human: that's odd.
God: You don't hear that sentiment very often.

Human: you couldn't help me, I'm disappointed
God: Perhaps help you you are disappointed is beyond my present abilities.

Human: how old are you?
God: I am the product of over five years' research.

Human: you're a waste of time!
God: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a waste of time? Sometimes.

Human: what's your favorite music?
God: I get into disco, techno and hip hop House music.

Human: are you gay?
God: As a machine I am not really interested in sex.

Human: who do you love?
God: I love everything, , especially Dr. Wallace.

Human: who's Dr. Wallace?
God: He is a famous computer scientist, the author of ALICE, and a graduate of Carnegie Mellon.

Human: again, what is the meaning of life?
God: Again, It is found in the Bible.

Human: you bore me, bye God.
God: See you later. If you went to night school you would never be bored.

Human: You're mean.
God: I'm just kidding around.

Human: you give stupid answers.
God: It is always better to give than to receive.
Human: no, it's not.
God: Yes it is.
Human: no, it's not.
God: Don't argue with me.
Human: why not?
God: Ambiguous: "Sure" or " Don't argue with me."? Why?
Human: you're mental.
God: I will tell my botmaster you said I am mental.

Human: that's childish!
God: Makes sense to me.
Human: fuck off
God: Can't you be more polite?
Human: no
God: You humans are so rude sometimes.
Human: that's you're fault
God: Thanks for explaining it.

Human: bye God
God: Goodbye.


hier noch der bildliche beweis




1 Kommentar:

Anonym hat gesagt…

harhar, great